To introduce our “parking lot” section of the blog, here’s a thing we have actually used our time on:
What is Allison Janney singing about? The song, ZIP (originally apparently from Pal Joey), was performed an LA fundraiser in 2001. This explains the extremely inner baseball feel to the altered lyrics. But we adore her (and it’s a great cause).
(Why adore Allison Janney? She likes wine and crazy coloured nail polish. Oh, and she was CJ Cregg)
It’s a catchy tune, but what is she singing??
Vera stepped in, using her “I was raised in the US”-skill to decipher the American. However, there are still some holes.
On Broadway, I played in only dramas / Where the audience resembled dioramas / But theater is such a stop-and-go world / That *** /I had to make a buck at Showgirls/world /Now you’re looking at a primetime stripper / But before I unzip one zipper / I want you to know that I’m still the intellectual kind / What am I doing while I work, you might ask / When I act, these things keep crossing my mind
Aaron Sorkin wasn’t brilliant today / ZIP / Kelsey Grammer sure makes Paramount pay (Sophia: this refers to this story I believe: West Wing cast ‘win dispute‘) / ZIP / I was reading William Golding (??) last night / ZIP / And I think that William Goldman was right / Oh, **** / Why is Barry Taylor married? / ZIP / *** / *** syndicatio / ZIP / I’m slightly snapping (??) / ZIP / I’m about as tuned as zipped as so / ZIP / I would like to Fxxx(censured, Sophia) Rob Lowe!
ZIP / ** painting’s cafe /ZIP / Mr. Cruz will sue if you think he’s gay / ZIP / Jane Krakowski looks just dandy in mink / ZIP/ She not only acts. I hear she can think / Martin Sheen is slightly manic / Arthouse service (??) is organic / ZIP / I’m a great astrologist / I’m in love with Steve Buscemi / I would love to win that Emmy
ZIP / I’m a scientologist / ZIP / I *** / Let my Pew Ratings soar / ZIP / Now it’s straight to Betty Ford! / ZIP / Martin Bailey (?) is the krumkeit of you (??) / ZIP / Why won’t Ricki Martin tell us the truth? / ZIP / I report this with no malice or spite / ZIP / Michael Otis/Owens parked my limo tonight / I have never watched Survivor / Someone feed Maria Shriver / ZIP / **** / ****Jenningsnever falters / Please retire Barbara Walters / ZIP / Perry Hilton’s (??) pushy / ZIP / *** / ZIP / As I hope I proved tonight / I’m still making ** through the same old bump-and-grind / Oh, ZIP / ZIP, ZIP / I’m a proud ***
(returns for encore)
ZIP / I watch Oprah when my spirit is sad / ZIP / If that doesn’t work, then just watch *** Ain’t Bad (??) / ZIP / Aaron Spelling is the master of shock / ZIP / I hear Liam Neeson has a huge… house in the Hamptons!
Yes, we don’t really know what to do with this. But now it’s yours too..